The president of ELAS, after the bailout agreements and the lenders (ed.: who became… institutions), has turned his sights on the banks.
What other sacrifice will our “Cat” make for the sake of the news? The man… sorry, the “Red Cat” had an invitation to Oikonomakou’s wedding; he could have been lounging on the beaches of Paros with his muscular physique and thick fur, but he chose to stay in Athens to keep a close eye on the sector heads (ed.: the shadow government) and the National Council of the Hellenic Police. You see, he never tires of listening to Alexis. There’s something about his voice that mesmerizes him and transports him to a magical world (ed.: “The Cat”). Where there are no problems, only solutions.
So he went to “Grand Hyatt” and found a seat, right across from an air vent at the back of the room. He heard it all: a new change, a new patriotism, a new post-dictatorship era, new morality, new integrity, a new revolution, a new social contract! And the classic question popped into his head: from the same person? Even if the Greeks had the memory of a goldfish, 2012, 2015, 2019, 2023, and everything that’s happened since then aren’t really that far back.
“What is your biggest flaw?” reality TV hosts often ask the contestants seeking their own ten minutes of fame. “I’m honest,” they usually reply with… modesty. President Alexis, too, appeared modest beyond any doubt.
“The greatest achievement the Hellenic Police has recorded in its first month of operation was restoring citizens’ optimism that they can once again take center stage,” he told his followers. “Wow”, as Yiannis would say.
The ELAS president has also chosen a new enemy. After the memoranda and the lenders (ed.: who became… institutions), he’s now taking on the banks. The suckers, of course, in his political rhetoric are always the same: us!
Where did you get it from, comrades?
Regarding the question “Where did you get the money, Alexis?,” the president of ELAS proudly declared that he had chosen the difficult path, without state funding and without sponsors. In this context, he announced that he would (ed.: note: “will”) launch a fundraising campaign.
And up to now? Offices, hotels, social media, tours, staff, gas—how have all these things been paid for so far? We don’t believe any bank took him for a fool and gave him a loan. Do you think he’s gone this far just to save us?
President Alexis described a… hybrid party with direct participatory online processes. Here’s another question: how were the sector heads and the National Council formed? Were there elections? Is there an invisible authority? A divine hand? We ask because even our “Cat” wanted to be a founding member of ELAS. So that people can read about him in the future, just as he himself read about everyone who was part of the Declaration of September 3.
The secretary of ELAS, Miltos Hatzigiannakis, announced that from now on, anyone interested will be able to join online platforms and express their views. Isn’t it a little late now that the party has: first, a manifesto; second, a platform; third, a president; fourth, a shadow government; fifth, a National Council? But does “The Cat” really want to be sanctified? How much mockery can it take? In ten years, Tsipras has shaken him to his core—even for his seven lives.
What about the other one? The… “Now We Speak”, something like SKAI’s “Together We Can.” “We don’t take the stage to speak. We’re not the ones speaking now. We’re calling on the people to speak,” said the secretary of ELAS (how grand of you) under Alexis (the president). But at all the events, in the end, it’s the president of ELAS who speaks—more than anyone else!
We saved the best for last. “Each member’s Calendar displays in detail the dates and deadlines for all participation procedures, while the platform will also support surveys with complex questionnaires, consultation processes involving the posting of texts and voting, tools that will be rolled out gradually as we move forward,” said Mr. Hatzigiannakis. Awesome! Just like… Trello, which is used to assign tasks to developers at IT companies. Modern stuff.
Olga’s in, Socrates is out
From SYRIZA only Olga Gerovasili seems to have secured her spot on the ELAS candidate lists, either in Attica or in Arta. Even Socrates Famellos is still waiting, although those in the know say that “the uncertainty has to do with those he’ll leave behind at Koumoundourou.” You see, ideally, ELAS wouldn’t want anyone to carry the SYRIZA brand. He may have racked up a string of defeats, but in the world of the Left, this is… the first time. And no one forgets it easily.
Selective absolution
The atmosphere within ELAS is better for the officials who left the New Left. Alexis Tsipras appears to be granting absolution to the officials who opposed him in the 2023 leadership battle (editor’s note: in his decision to support Kasselakis) and is treating them magnanimously, giving them a second chance. The new party’s candidate lists will include Efi Achtsioglou and Alexis Haritsis, while discussions are still ongoing regarding Dimitris Tzanakopoulos.
He shot himself in the foot
Do you remember George Papandreou who said “There is money,” and then claimed we didn’t understand him correctly? Alexis Tsipras, however, seems to have learned from his mistake and came out with a new catchphrase: “The fund is running out! The money is running out!” he told the National Council of the Hellenic Police (editor’s note: referring to the Recovery Fund). So, don’t take anything he says about benefits too seriously. The guy wants to hand out money, but he’ll inherit empty coffers. Same old story. The aspiring successors say whatever they want and then blame their predecessors. Now, we’ll leave it up to you to decide what to call this practice.
